Shitty MS Paint Fun

I did a clean install of XP the other day and I haven't gotten around to re-installing Photoshop yet. Ergo, this:

It's just a little something to get my brain off the Broncos.

Comicon

Hey, I went to the first annual Windy City Comicon yesterday. I acquired a batman shirt and the hand-drawn art you see above. Nice.

Spider Arts

Hey, it's... spider arts.

LOLNephew: NCAA Edition

YES.

"Better"

Block quote time! This one is from the BBC News Online:

According to the Washington Post newspaper, Track was named after the course of the sockeye salmon the family fishes off the town of Dillingham, while her eldest daughter's name comes from Bristol Bay, an area known for its salmon fisheries. The name Willow relates to the state bird, the willow ptarmigan, and a nearby town, the paper says, while daughter Piper shares her name with the family's small plane. Trig is the Norse word for "brave victory", the Post adds.

So it seems I was a little wrong about the origin of the Palin family names. They're not random and "cute," like I thought; they're stupid, like I feared and, in hindsight, should have expected. Does this change my feelings from my post a few days ago? Hell no.

Gastronomical

Over the past three days, I have eaten (in rough order):

• 1/2 of a deep-dish pizza (cheese)
  
• 1 beer (20 oz)
  
• 1 bowl of cereal
  
• 2 beers (16 oz)
  
• 5 rolls of sushi (30 pieces) (!!)
  
• 2 beers (12 oz)
  
• 2 egg rolls
  
• 1 order of pad thai noodles
  
• 1 order of mint ice cream (size: waaay too big)
  
• 1 beer (12 oz)
  
• 1 large slice of pizza (cheese)

Quite frankly, I'm surprised I even have a digestive system anymore. Time to go to the gym.

Track? Seriously?

Barack Obama's camp has declared young Bristol Palin's pregnancy "off limits" for the purposes of the campaign. Ok. Privacy is nice, and while you could certainly make the argument that the teenage pregnancy of a vice presidential candidate's daughter says something about said candidate's parenting skills, Obama wants this campaign to be squeaky clean, so I can go with it. I think, however, they are missing the bigger problem.

Who names their daughter "Bristol"?

I mean sure, it's an city, whatever. But I did some checking: Sarah Palin's children are named Bristol, Willow, Piper, Track, and Trig.

I guess as a huge nerd, I can accept Willow, and Piper is an uncommon but not unheard of name. But Track? Her son is actually named Track? And Trig? Of the first 10 Google search results for "trig," seven return trigonometry sites. Two are unrelated convenience stores and networking sites. The one remaining result is Trig Palin. I'm going to go ahead and say it's a fairly rare name. Rarity is not really a bad thing (How common is the name "Obama" in the U.S.?), but think back to elementary school and every "creatively"-named kid you knew. If you went to a predominantly well-off white school like me, chances are these kids were assholes, and their parents were assholes. Not 100%, but pretty close. It's science. That, combined with pretty much everything else I've read about Sarah Palin, does not suggest someone I want as a VP.

Because, uh, I was totally gonna vote for Walnuts anyway. Totally.

Open Letter

Dear Hipster I Saw At The Arch Today,

Just because yesterday was 94º and today was 72º doesn't mean it's "scarf weather." It means it's 72 degrees. You look ridiculous.

Thanks,
Bob

Bob ARRGH PET PEEVES

Hey kids, it's time again for me to air my grievances on the internet! This is healthy, I assure you. Fortunately, my grievances are often small in nature, and I can typically ignore them without falling prey to acute hypertension.

Today! On the pet peeves show: ungrammatical facebook status entries. "Real" examples:

• Jane Doe OMG her flight got cancelled!
• Alan Smithee is it naptime yet?
• John Q. Public is SIGN THIS NOW!!!
• Dennis Kucinich RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE TOMORROW/starstruck from the DEMOCRATIC NATIONAL CONVENTION.

I'd like to say that these people lack basic understanding about how facebook status updates work, but I don't actually believe that. They are just lazy. They do not care. Is it so difficult to spend an extra second or two making sure your status makes goddamn sense?

Of course, none of this actually matters. My complaint has no redeeming value as social commentary or parody. But that's exactly what makes it a problem! These assholes have turned me into the guy sitting in his basement penning a manifesto and preaching revolution on the "social networking intersphere" or whatever the fuck they're calling it these days. I have become what I hate the most. Next thing you know I'll be "twittering" my progress in getting facebook to change their whole status setup.

On an unrelated note, I was looking up some foreign book titles at work on Google Translate, and apparently the "auto-detect language" feature recognizes Slovenian and Hungarian, but is unable to translate them. I like a computer program that knows its limits.

Mankind is Noodlekind

I must give "mad props" to my dad for this one. He randomly called to tell me today is the 50th anniversary to the sale of the first instant ramen. I hate to fall into college student stereotypes, but I really do eat a ton of that stuff, and hell if I don't enjoy it, too. I've even made some improvements to the process. Real Actual Things™ I have done:

• Once ate ramen out of large ziplock bag with tiny hole cut in one corner
• Once cooked ramen in original plastic packaging using only heat from desk lamp
• Once left ramen leftovers in pot outside dorm room door for 3 (three) weeks.
  

That last one probably wasn't my brightest moment, but you get the idea.

That post title up there is a quotation from Momofuku Ando, inventor of instant ramen. As a culinary innovator himself, I think he'd be proud of my tinkering.

Interblag

I changed some things. Perhaps you noticed. Sundays are so boring that I can afford to spend an hour and a half tweaking xml, and that makes me a little sad.

If you want actual content, here's a video of some tech they're working on at the University of Washington. It is hella cool.

I am the hipster KING

I was checking my textbook list for the next quarter, and came across the following:

FALL 2008 › CIV_ENG › 395-0 › 22
3 PACK SKETCHBOOK 3 1/2 X 5 1/2
By MOLESKIN[E]

That is correct, I am required to purchase moleskines.

At long last, I will be That Guy. I will sit in the corner of a Local Cafe and sip my Soy Chai Latte and maybe sketch The One That Got Away or write some Meaningful Poetry. My pants: tight. My bike: fixed-gear single-speed... with full-length fenders!

I will be Very Sensitive.

This is the beginning of a new era, my friends! An era where I will write things in tiny notebooks! The future is truly now.

How To Watch Preseason Football

Preseason gets a bad rap. Most seem to tolerate it, but the general consensus seems to be an emphatic "meh." After all, these games don't count for anything, right? Why should we care?

Because it's football, jackass.

Maybe you don't like actually watching football, and only enjoy the stats and the wins that accumulate for your chosen city/region? Is that it? Yeah, I'm pretty sure you don't like football, then. Why don't you go play with a spreadsheet or something?

On the other hand, maybe you don't like preseason because you're not watching it right. I'll bet I know the reason: you're not rooting for anyone. Even if you don't care about either of the teams, pick a side. It doesn't matter if you have to flip a coin, but do it, and stick to it. If you hate both teams, root for the defense to keep getting ridiculously big hits. Concussions are fun when you're not the one getting them!

Outside of that, here are some reasons given for preseason apathy:

The Play Isn't On Par With Regular Season Games
For the starters, maybe. But they're in there for a half, tops, then out come the guys playing for a chance to make the team. Don't try telling them that the game doesn't matter. They're going to play hard, and they're going to bring their A-game.

The Games Don't Actually Count
(see above)

One thing that really bothers me is when the network goes into full interview mode the entire second half of the game. This is when the desperate dudes are in there! The second half is more time when you could be seeing stuff like this!

Sometimes Important Starters Get Hurt
OK yeah that blows. I can't argue. But injuries are a part of the game. I'll give you this much: If you are a starting player on a professional football team, you are allowed to hate the preseason. If this is the case, you should also send me some free tickets.

...to a regular season game.

Playlist, 8/10/2008

Tobacco - Fucked Up Friends - Hairy Candy
Beck - Modern Guilt - Gamma Ray
Some Hobbits - LotR: Fellowship of the Ring - Hobbit Song
Blue Cheer - Vincebus Eruptum - Second Time Around
Blood Sweat, & Tears - Blood Sweat, & Tears 3 - Lucretia MacEvil
Battles - Mirrored - Ddiamondd
Black Rebel Motorcycle Club - Baby 81 - Lien On Your Dreams
Windmill - Puddle City Racing Lights - Fluorescent Lights
Bjork - Volta - Innocence
Broadcast - Tender Buttons - I Found the F
The Berg Sans Nipple - Along the Quai - Nonante-Trois
Burial - Untrue - Ghost Hardware

Bookkeeping

Hey, the word "bookkeeping" has three sets of double letters. Sweet.

The thesis I mentioned on Friday was A General Survey of the Negro Population of Evanston by David Kenneth Bruner. It's not quite as old as I thought (1924), but it still has that vaguely racist look and feel that we all know and "love." Here's a link to the Northwestern library catalog page. Ha, it says the book has been missing since 2003. Lies.

Playlist, 8/3/2008

Maps and Atlases - You and Me and The Mountain - Daily News
Krakatoa - We Are The Rowboats - Spiral Dive
The Casket Lottery - Survival is for Cowards - Code Red
Jimmy Edgar - Silicon Graffiti - 18th Sheet Reflections
Marc Ribot's Ceramic Dog - Party Intellectuals - Party Intellectuals
Akitaka Tohyama, Kenki Ninuma - Katamari Damacy OST - The Moon and The Prince
Nico Muhly - Mothertongue - Mothertongue Pt. 2: Shower
Walter Meego - Voyager - Lost
Zongamin - Zongamin - Serious Trouble
Free Kitten - Inherit - Surf's Up
The Ting Tings - Great DJ - Great DJ
Flying Lotus - Flying Lotus - Breathe Something/Stellar Star
Flying Lotus - Flying Lotus - Beginners Falafel
Flying Lotus - Flying Lotus - Camel
Flying Lotus - Flying Lotus - Melt!
Flying Lotus - Flying Lotus - Comet Course
Flying Lotus - Flying Lotus - Orbit 405

LOLnephew 2

Old Picture Madness

Allow me to introduce you to the Northwestern football team of 1892. I'm sure they would fare just fine against our current team. Just look at the expression of the guy front and center. That just screams "hardcore competitor."

John Henry Wigmore: legal scholar, dean of the Northwestern Law School from 1901-1929, and keeper of perhaps the finest mustache in history.

Bestseller

One of the books I was processing at work today was a thesis from the early part of the 1900s. I should have written more information down, but I can get it on Monday, I guess. In this thesis were a number of pictures of locations in Evanston, some of which happen to be quite close to where I live. Having nothing better to do, I decided to go see what these locations looked like now.

Unfortunately, what with me being dumb, I decided to go out during rush hour in 90 degree heat, so I didn't get great photos. Some of the places have changed so much it's impossible to tell where the picture was taken from, anyway.

Cash advance, plz.

Wednesday was Weird

As I was riding my bike up to work a bit before 9 AM, I hear music. No surprise, as there's construction at one of the surrounding buildings and it's not uncommon for the workers to have a radio on hand. I realize quickly that the song is Crown of Love by Arcade Fire, which seems an odd choice, but hey, maybe they're getting in touch with their liberal arts university surroundings. Drawing closer, I see a group of 15 or so college-age people gathered around the bike racks, and as I watch, I realize they seem to be dancing. Interpretive dancing.

Of course, I think to myself. Hipsters. It all makes sense now.

I lock up my bike with these people silently dancing all around me. Some pantomime bike riding, some swing around on the racks, others just waltz around. Not a word is spoken. As the song hits the driving tempo of the climax, they all spontaneously merge into a single moshing mass and silently dance off in another direction.

I really don't know what that was all about. The only things I can think of are a flash mob, which seems unlikely given the time of day, or a dance class, which seems unlikely given the fact that it's the middle of the summer. All I can be sure of is that when I walked through the doors of the library, I looked behind me and gave a little shudder. When I turn around, the guy sitting at the front desk is looking back at me and laughing. And while I have a history of hating hipsters, I have to admit it made my morning a bit more entertaining.

=====

Later that night, I went to the improv comedy theater Second City with my roommate and his friend. In the bathroom stall, I noticed some unconventional graffiti. I didn't have my camera with me, but scratched into the door were these words, seemingly from 3 different people:

first post!
xkcd.com
DNE

Meta.

=====

Riding back on the El, I couldn't help but notice two guys in matching red berets and white t-shirts walking from one end of the train to the other. They look a little ridiculous, if not the strangest thing I've seen late at night in Chicago, but they don't seem to be doing anything nefarious. Their shirts say "Guardian Angels" on the back, so I google it when I get home.

Turns out they're a sort of volunteer police force founded in New York City back in the 70s. They patrol bad areas of cities, unarmed, and intervene if they see any violent crime. You can check out their official site and Wikipedia page if you want more info, but they honestly seem to be legit, and they're partially credited with the significant reduction of NYC crime in the past few decades. Sure, you probably already know all of this stuff, as I seem to be about 30 years late to the party. I thought it was a little weird that I never noticed them before, but I can't complain that they're out there. They get the Bob Seal of Batman-esque Approval.

7/27/2008 7-9 PM

Teengenerate - Smash Hits! - Gonna Feel Alright
DMBQ - ? - Boom-run Rock
Boss Martians - Making the Rounds - She Moves Me
The Pillows - ? - Stalker
Teen Idols - Full Leather Jacket - Forever in my Dreams
Seatbelts - ? - Doggy Dog II
The Knife - ? - Neon
The Pixies - Surfer Rosa - Bone Machine
Tokyo Ska Paradise Orchestra - Gunslingers - 5 Days of Tequila
HEALTH - Health - Crimewave
Needers and Givers - The Other - Digging
Teenage Fanclub - Grand Prix - Sparky's Dream
John Oswald - PLUNDERPHONIC - Black (James Brown)
To Rococco Rot - Music is a Hungry Ghost - A Number of Things
Joy Division - Unknown Pleasures - Disorder
Yoshihiro Hanno - Sulpice - ?
Ratatat - LP3 - Shempi
Ratatat - LP3 - Imperials
Ratatat - LP3 - Dura
Deep Purple - ? - Speed King
Dragons 1976 - On Cortez - Canopy
Matmos - Supreme Balloon - Cloudhoppers
CoCoComa - CoCoComa - Too Tired
Deadmau5 - ? - Not Exactly
DJ Scotch Egg - Drumized - Scotch Circus 2
DJ Scotch Egg - Drumized - Scotch Grind 2
DJ Scotch Egg - Drumized - Scotch Beatbox
The Vandelles - The Vandelles - Lovely Weather
The Vandelles - The Vandelles - Fever of the Beat
School of Language - Sea From Shore - Disappointment '99
Son Lux - At War With Walls and Mazes - Break
Son Lux - At War With Walls and Mazes - Weapons
Off the International Radar - Off the International Radar - Deploy the Plot Ending Device
The Pillows - ? - Sleepy Head

Creepiness

Here are some more, better pics. EVA MASS PRODUCTION UNIT AND TWO-FACE MOFOS.

Buddies of the universe.


And an updated group picture. Yeah, this isn't creepy, right?


...right?

OMFG new toys

Louis, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

Playlist, 7/20/2008

Thee Michelle Gun Elephant - Rumble - Candy House
Tokyo Ska Paradise Orchestra - Gunslingers - Lupin the Third
Guitar Wolf - UFO Romantics - Gion Midnite
The Pillows - FLCL OST 3 - Hybrid Rainbow
The Smashing Pumpkins - ? - The Beginning is The End is The Beginning
Microphones - Window - Cover Me Up
Teengenerate - Smash Hits - Grown Up Wrong
Fugazi - The Argument - Full Disclosure
Tiger Army - Music From Regions Beyond - Hotprowl
Caribou - Andorra - Melody Day
New Bomb Turks - The Night Before The Day The Earth Stood Still - Statue of Liberty
Tokyo Ska Paradise Orchestra - Gunslingers - SCARAVAN
Something else at the end, I think?

Show Playlist, 6-12-2008

Type	Artist	Track	Album	Label (Year)
Awesome	Kaspar Ewalds Exorbitantes Kabinett	Des Prinzen Heldentat	Reptil	Altrisuoni (2006)
Rockin’	David Torn, etc	AK	Prezens	ECM (2007)
	Happy Apple	The New Bison	Happy Apple Back on Top	Sunnyside (2007)
Olde School	Andrew Hill	Flight 19	Point of Departure	Blue Note (1964)
Sexy	Sex Mob	Kid Rock Deluxe	Sexotica	Thirsty Ear (2006)
Chill	Jimmy Giuffre, Paul Bley, Steve Swallow	Fly Away Little Bird	Fly Away Little Bird	Universal (1992)
Bam	Flat Earth Society	Psychoscout	Psychoscout	Bonk/Crammed Disc (2006)
Bipolar	Exploding Customer	Mr BD (D)	Live at Tampere Jazz Happening	Ayler (2004)
ELL PEE	Return to Forever	Hymn of the Seventh Galaxy	Hymn of the Seventh Galaxy	Polydor (1973)
Beats	Kenny Dorham	Afrodisia	Afro-Cuban	Blue Note (1955)
Balls to the Wall	Firehouse	Cyklone Song	Live at Glenn Miller Café	Alyer (2004)
Neat	Clifford Brown	George’s Dilemma	Study in Brown	Universal (1955)
Big	Dave Holland Big Band	The Razor’s Edge	What Goes Around	ECM (2002)
Krazy	Reptet	Ro	Do This!	Monktail (2006)
Woo	Chick Corea, Joe Henderson, Roy Haynes, Gary Peacock	Quintet #2	Live in Montreux	GRP (1994)
Downer	Scott Fields Freetet	I Was Good Enough For You Until Your Friends Butted In	Bitter Love Songs	Clean Feed (2008)
YESSSS	Ken Nordine	Beige	Colors	Asphodel (1995)
Class	Charles Mingus	Prayer for Passive Resistance	Antibes 60	Atlantic (1976)

This is not a Music Blog

For example, I also feature world-class reporting about breasts:

Wait a minute... I was tricked! But was I the only one?



No. No I was not.

Quickly, Robin!

I haven't had an album cover up here for a while, but I couldn't resist this one from The Lovely Feathers:

And really, could anyone?

Goodness, it seems I've been advertising heavily for MySpace the past few days.

Robotique Majestique

So the singer in Ghostland Observatory sounds exactly like Freddie Mercury. Go listen to Dancing on My Grave. It's eerie.

Added bonus:

Sounds Like - A RoBot making Love To a Tree!!

Perspective!

I am trying out this new thing, I call it: "Perspective."

What I do is I eat lunch in a place I have never been to before at least 3 times a week. Not new restaurants or anything, and not necessarily in a completely part of town; it could just be a table I've never sat at or an area of a courtyard I've never been. It's been pretty cool so far! The weather has been nice, so I've gotten some sun on benches which are all new to me. It might sound strange, but it feels really different to just sit some 20 feet from where you've eaten every day for the past month. Completely different view, completely different outlook. On Wednesday, I say down next to a pillar in the University Library plaza in the sun and ate a banana.

Perspective! Right. So after a while, these two guys come up and ask if they can survey me about religion. I figure, hey, why not, I have nowhere to be. So we talk about my views of Christianity for a while. Granted, that makes it sound really unpleasant, but it actually wasn't. While I certainly think about it often enough, I rarely air my views about religion publicly. Truth is, in the course of the interview, I made some realizations.

• When I think "Christianity" I am almost always thinking about "the politics of the Christian right." I think it is The Media which causes this. I could be wrong.
  

• I believe human beings are incapable of fully understanding the concept of "God", at least in the sense of a truly omnipotent being. It's like an ant trying to understand the concept of the earth; you can say it, but it's just not going to happen.

• I am just not a religious person. I guess I already knew that, but it bears repeating.

Well looking back, none of that is particularly earth-shattering, or even particularly coherent. The important thing is, I talked to some people about religion who I had never met or even seen before and it wasn't horrible. Perspective!

On an unrelated note, yes I am aware that a significant portion of my traffic comes from european versions of Google Images. So I have to show some love to my peeps across the 'lantic:

Apparently he is a politician of some sort? Craziness.

LOLnephew

GOOOOOOOOOOL!

Google Analytics is awesome. It can tell you tons of information about your readership/spam bot attractiveness. For example, I seem to be getting a number of hits from the spanish language Google Images search page. In Spain. I honestly can't figure out why, but I'd like to give these people something to make their trip here worth it:


In other news, I've started a separate blog to post all my comics, located here. I'll still be posting on this page, but it will be less "hilarity" and more "what I ate for lunch." Sorry.

Coming soon will be my series on webcomic trends, which I am choosing to call... "Webcomic Trends: The Series."

And they say creativity is dead.

Based on a True Story™

Hourly Comics Day!

Ok, really near future

Comic + Rum

Ah, don't you love going almost 2 months between posts? I know I do!

Here's a comic I did. The script is several months old, but I just now say down at the tablet and cranked it out. Zhefei's hair is really freaking hard to capture; I still don't quite do it justice. He is truly Asian Elvis. I have a few alternate endings for this one. I'll see about posting those in the near future.