buhhhh...

Tired.

Waterworld, two days ago, fun.

GTA3, Splinter Cell, bought, fun.

Eating yogurt, good.

Sleep.

This post is best read in the original klingon.

Hey, do you think it's just a big co-oincidence that "Snake" and "Sneak" have the same letters in them?

Yeah, me too.

sneak sneak sneak snake sneak

I've been playing two sneaking games supreme lately, namely Hitman 2 and Metal Gear Solid. For some reason, I started MGS to play something different from Hitman, which . . probably made sense when I thought of it. One thing I was looking forward to when I started MGS for the fourth or so time was whether I would be as emotionally affected by it as I had been previously. I always got a little teary when Meryl/Wolf died, and I wasn't sure if the effect wore off over time.

It doesn't, really. I still got misty-eyed when Sniper Wolf asked Snake to set her free. Interesting. More on things of this nature later.

And another thing!

What's the deal with demos these days? I played this Pariah demo: maybe 10 minutes of play against 2 enemies with 2 weapons.

Quake shareware had 1/5 of the entire game, guys. And don't give me that "games are getting too big to be efficiently distributed" bullshit, either.

Shame.

Behind the Scenes

I found a scrap of paper I had jotted down a few blog notes on at work, and lacking a scanner, I have put together a crude mock-up in photoshop:

Who are people, indeed.

I like semicolons

Univision was back today, but there wasn't any crazy stuff going down, just extremely loud and repetitive spanish rap. So, they weren't the most exciting part of the day: the rain was.

It rained quite heavily, sending dozens of park-goers into the fairly small confines of the confectionery, as I am wont to call it. Of the $800 I made today, I'd say around half of it came from the 45 minutes directly following the rain. Another thing I noticed is the sheer mass of people who attend the park. A good 30 minutes after it started raining, I could still see throngs of people walking down the street in front of the store towards the exit, and even when most people had left, there were still isolated pockets of activity from time to time. This raises questions, questions like: "Who are these people," and "Why don't they go home?"

Thing about rain is, it's like throwing baking soda into vinegar; it froths and foams for 20 seconds or so, then fades into a boring, goopy mess. From 8:00 to 10:00, I probably made 4 sales, leading to (what else?) many more paper cranes. Even that couldn't quite dispel all the boredom; imagine my excitement when I *pause* changed the register tape! And even that doesn't even compare to the time I got something sticky on my hand and *pause* had to wash it off.

Whoo. Good times.

Seeing as there is upwards of $100,000 in the park every night, and it's mostly in small, non-sequential bills, I've started thinking about robbery, purely as an academic exercise, of course. Aside from the bars and the cameras, the biggest problem would be getting the money out of the park. The bank is situated dead center, and while the perimeter security isn't exactly stellar, they would probably be able to respond in the time it took to get to the edge of the park.

However.

I noticed today that the light rail actually goes through a corner of the park, and it's fairly close to the bank itself. If you could rig up some sort of device that would allow you to latch the money onto the light rail cars as they go past, they could leave the secure zone quite easily and quickly, meaning you'd just have to go pick up the money later.

Christ, I play too much Hitman 2.

Goooooooooooooooooooooooal(s)

Univision was having a wild bash at Elitches yesterday. (Univision, for those of you who don't know, is a spanish language television channel.) They had a big stage right by the store I work at, and when I passed it on my way to clock in, something crazy was going on. My spanish is pretty rusty, so I'm not sure exactly what they were doing, but one of the men on-stage was wearing a dress.

Once at work, I learned I can pass the time fairly well by folding paper cranes out of used receipt paper. I folded about 10 of them throughout the day, two out of paper measuring less than 3/4 inch to a side. I am quite proud of them, but I need to learn how to fold something else. Oh, and I should probably help some customers, or something.

Things I've Learned:
1. When it's 102 degrees out, you can charge anything for water.
2. A surprising proportion of parents have extensive tattoo work.

Things I Need to Learn:
1. How to juggle.
2. How to throw a playing card really hard.
3. How to beat the fucking expert setting on minesweeper.

As you can see, I still have a lot of work to do.

You know what?

Fuck regret.

Another Short Post About Work

Oh, and the license to sell bulk items in the candy store expired over two years ago. Shocking.

The Again Return of Workin' Man

Whoo.

Where to start.

In my culture, there are three steps toward a man's knowing of the world of finance.
Step 1: Make $100 selling candy during the morning shift. Think $100 is "pretty good."
Step 2: Make $800 selling candy during the night shift. Think $800 is "pretty good."
Step 3: Go to turn in $800 to Elitches bank, notice a slip for one of the four clerks with a running total of the money they've catalogued that evening at over $45,000. Think $45,000 is "a lot of fucking money."

Damn, I think of so many great things to write about during the day, than I can never remember any of them.

The bus trip from the employee parking lot is a surreal experience. Imagine every stereotypical desert junkyard you've seen in every movie. Now replace the beat-up cars and tumbleweeds with faded (but still bright) ride backdrops and decrepit Bug Bunny statuary. It's eerie.

Also: there is this ride at Elitches, the Twister II, which is a wooden roller coaster. I've been on it a few times; it's a fun ride. When you're waiting for said bus to pick you up, you sit on a bench about 30 feet from this roller coaster, and you get the treat of watching it tremble violently and sway in excess of 1 foot every time a coaster car goes over it. I don't doubt it's safe, and I'll probably end up riding it again sometime, but it's still freaky.

My thighs still hurt, but my ankles not nearly as much. I'm taking that as a good sign.

Workin' Man

I thought it would be a bad day when the first thing I heard upon entering Elitches was the Looney Toons (tm) singing Jailhouse Rock. It is a good thing I was mistaken.

Not that it was totally awesome, either. Pretty boring most of the time, but I'm ok with that. From what I've heard, I actually have it pretty good. I work inside, so while temperatures outside today climbed well into the 90s, I never got above a balmy 75. We get to listen to the radio and talk to each other, which I hear from Outside is the exception rather than the rule. Basically I just stand behind a counter and wait for people to buy stuff. Sometimes, to break the monotony, I restock the beverage cooler or rearrange misplaced items. The only real problem I have is that there are many items without prices on them, so I'm stuck either a) asking someone, which is a gamble, because often they don't know either, and b) making up a price that sounds good. I sometimes end up going with option b, which sounds a bit iffy, but I'm not too worried.

Speaking of prices, the price sticker gun is the greatest thing ever concieved of by man. I totally love that thing.

Hey, what's the deal with traffic? Sometimes it's bad because there are too many cars around, or there's an accident ahead, or it's raining, but there are other, mutant times where there seems to be no rhyme or reason to it. Cars slow down, stop, then start right up again, perhaps in response to a predator. I don't get it.

(The preceeding paragraph was brought to you by Jerry Seinfeld (tm).)

Now, to crack a brew, put my feet up, and watch the game. Oh wait, I have dinner with my extended family. Gruh.

That Funky Ninja

So I've been reading this comic, White Ninja, linked to by the good people at your neighborhood Penny Arcade. I've been unable to determine whether the authors of said comic are true comedic geniuses of the Old Order or simply insane. Take, for example, this comic. See? I told you.

Minesweeper is a great game. I got my beginner time down to 7 seconds, which I felt was pretty good. Turns out the record is 1 second, which means the first click shows all the mines, which only happens about 0.001 % of the time. Guess I have to keep playing.

Jerome

This post was made at a LAN

Today, I reached a level of culinary desperation that prompted me to eat something known to humans as "Creamed Chipped Beef." It wasn't really bad, per se, but I don't think I'll be eating it again.

I got my work schedule, too, and it goes as follows:

Tuesday 9-4:30
Wednesday 3:30-11
Friday 3:30-11
Saturday 3:30-11
Sunday 3:30-11

Apparently I work at a candy store. Candy!

Whoa. Since it pased midnight 12 minutes ago, I think I actually went an entire day without posting! I feel. . . liberated.

Living on the Counter

I'm sure it's pretty obvious that my house has become one of the messiest places I've ever lived in. It's true; I'm a slob. Problem is, people are coming tomorrow to clean the house, so it goes without saying that I have to clean it before they even think about getting here.

It's bad in here. I just brought all the dishes up to the kitchen, and some of them are so crusted with food it's hard to tell there's actually a plate under there. The day my parents left (7 days ago) I had a bit of flank steak, but didn't finish the last bite. It remained on my fork, on a plate, on the counter. For 7 days. It's still there. At this point, I'm not really sure what to do with it. Do I leave it as a warning to future generations not to leave the dishes until it's too late? Do I cast it into the raging fires of Aluei-Kawali Muoeila? Do I eat it? Question, questions.

I (heart) Stuff

Somewhere along the line, someone in marketing thought up the idea of taking everyday items (pillows, mugs, pencils, toothbrushes) and plastering trademarks on them, thus increasing their value tenfold.

This person would find Elitches to be a new paradise for humanity.

Also, they still play the macarena.

The macarena.

Um

I . . . knew what I was going to write about when I opened the post window, but now it's gone.

Oh yeah, Battlefront. I bought it. I enjoy it.

There's something very iconic about the Hoth battle. I was thinking about it, and it's the only time in the original three movies where we actually see a large scale Rebellion vs. Empire ground battle (ewoks are not rebels), which is probably why it resonates so well in the game.

I've never really played games like Battlefront, which I hear (from others) has a tribes-y feeling to it. This isn't really new with me and star wars games; KotOR was the first PC RPG I played, too. It just seems the Star Wars game franchise has the power to pull me to pretty much anything. Coming soon: Harvest Moon Moisture Farm Edition.

Patrick Stewart is 65 today, and Harrison Ford is 63. Give 'em a big hand, folks.

Intellectual Deficiencies

GRAH! Got my AP scores back today. Fives on US History and Physics, but four on English! 4!!! I don't even get credit for a four! I'm pretty sure I don't get credit for Physics, either, because I only took half of it. I've read conflicting reports from Northwestern of whether half the test gets credit. And that for a class I hadn't taken in four months, yet managed to pull off a five.

grah.

Lost in the Supermarket (not really)

I'm sure you've heard the old adage that you shouldn't go to the grocery store hungry. I would like to make an addition to that: don't go to the grocery store if you feel vaguely queasy, either. I had to actually force myself to buy Spaghetti-Os. Madness.

And why was I queasy, you ask? Well, probably due to my steady diet of junk food and carbonated beverages, a diet the trip was meant to alleviate. And just what did I get at the grocery store, you ask? Well, mostly junk food. But no carbonated beverages! That must count for something.

In conclusion, buying ice cream sandwiches at 10:48 is the shiznit. Thank you.

Errors

Some time age, I stated that Havana Affair was the 10th best convoy song. I now change my vote to the Dead Kennedys' cover of the theme from Rawhide. I regret any confusion in the matter.

Also: 10 postz!

Huh (then nudity)

Ok.

Reading back, I think I said everything about Requiem that really needed to be said last night. It's disturbing, uncomfortable, and extremely powerful.

Last night, I had one of those "naked at school" dreams, but it was less terrifying and more "Hey you, The Man! I'm not wearing clothes!" People were cheering for me, I swear. I also had a dream where I was almost arrested for stealing wireless internet, but that is neither here nor there.

Yesterday I went to the Denver Museum of Nature and Science with my girlfriend and her family. I've always loved that place. We saw the space exhibit (a little lack-luster), the Lewis and Clark traveling exhibit (meh), a planetarium trip through the solar system (reeeeal unimpressive) and the Hall of Life (whee). My health printout said that I had above-average cardiovascular fitness for my gender and age group, which surprised me, inasmuch as I make it a point to avoid exercise wherever possible.

So, yeah.

Requiem

Requiem for a Dream is an extremely well-done, excellent movie, and I don't want to see it again for a long time. It's the first movie to make me cry since. . . something, I just can't remember. I'll talk about it and others things that happened today tomorrow, when I'm in some sort of condition to do so.

Anyway, I don't think passers-by would really understand why I was on my laptop on my front porch at 12:37 AM.

Big ol' Post o' Stuff

I saw One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest last night. Very good movie. I think it's one of those movies you need time to think about before you make any final judgements, though. It certainly seems to have stood the time for everyone else, of course, seeing as it's 13th on the imdb greatest movies of all time list. Most of what I knew about the movie going in was based on parodies, which I thought was pretty funny. Mostly from the Simpsons, now that I think about it. Eerie.

(Note: when I first typed that last paragraph, I had wrote "Pimpsons." Just thought you'd like to know.)

The march of cool stuff in the MIT Technology Review keeps on coming. I recently read about the problem the department of archives is having with the influx of electronic records. Seems like just storing the data isn't enough; they need a system that can handle every single program used by the government since the inception of the computer itself. That's a pretty tall order. In addition to that, they need more space than any of us really stands a chance of imagining. I mean, I think my 220 gigs of memory is fairly robust, but that would only hold (calculating) about 1/10000 of the information in US research libraries. That seems high. I'll get back to you if I'm wrong.

Also, there's a story about digitally manipulated art that was kinda cool. It's photoshop, (sort of) but on a massive scale. You should check it out.

Now, time for Super-Nerdy Fun Corner. There's a game I've been playing, Homeworld: Cataclysm. In this game, there are these two ships, the Acolyte and the ACV. The ACV has double the armor and firepower of the acolyte, and very slightly reduced speed. However, if one ACV takes on 2 acolytes, it usually wins. There has to be some mathematical reason for this, and I'll fill you in just as soon as I find it. Something to do with game theory, I betcha.

I lik yor hairs

Christopher Walken is a great golden god. For examples confirming his status as a deity, I refer you to these:

Bobcat.mp3
Boobs.mp3

In other news, the house has not yet been burned down. It is, however a mess. I'm thinking of erecting a mighty tower of empty soda cans, an altar to a god of being home alone, or something.

I feel like going grocery shopping around 11:30 tonight.

Spiderz

Man, I know I don't need to tell anyone readng this, but the internet is sooo fucking cool! For example: sitting on my front porch, I've become well aquainted with our yard's diverse and plentiful insect population. Maybe some of you know of the Daddy Longlegs, the colloquial term for the Phalangids or Opiliones species of arachnids. You can see one over to the right there. Anywho, I'd always learned as a wee child that they were beneficial spiders who won't hurt you and take care of pesky aphids and such in the garden. Simple enough.

Then, however, came the march of classmates and the slanderous lies and misinformation they spread, much like locusts. They said that the Daddy Longlegs was the most poisonous spider in the world, but couldn't bite you because their fangs are too short to pierce human skin.

Thanks to Wikipedia, it turns out everyone's wrong! They aren't even spiders, and most of them don't have venom glands at all. And I learned all this by typing two words and clicking twice! THE INTERNET! GUHHHHHHH!!!!

Yes. So, I finally got a date for my retail training for Elitches. Wednesday. 4 days from now. Hopefully, I will start actually working by mid-August.

I've been reading the MIT Technological Review, a magazine (and webpage, I guess) run by MIT to inform you about breakthrough new technologies, risky startups, and other nerdy stuff. (typical article: "Rising Stars of Biotech") So I was reading this article on The Business of Blogging, and I learned a few helpful hints to make my blog an instant classic. Ok, here goes: Paris Hilton Paris Hilton Paris Hilton Paris Hilton Paris Hilton Paris Hilton Paris Hilton Paris Hilton Paris Hilton Paris Hilton Paris Hilton Paris Hilton Paris Hilton Paris Hilton Paris Hilton Paris Hilton Paris Hilton Paris Hilton Paris Hilton Paris Hilton Paris Hilton Paris Hilton Paris Hilton Paris Hilton Paris Hilton Paris Hilton Paris Hilton Paris Hilton Paris Hilton Paris Hilton Paris Hilton Paris Hilton Paris Hilton Paris Hilton Paris Hilton Paris Hilton Paris Hilton Paris Hilton.

Thank you.

Pimpin' Progress

Yes, friends, that is a picture of me cutting the ceremonial ribbon, opening my house to the pimping of myself and Matt. As you can see, I'm disturbingly happy. I mean, really.



Handy before and after pictures of the cabinets in our - my sitting room.



A before and after shot of the glass display table in my living room.




For some reason, there is a sign that says "Bonjour" in my house. I really don't know why. Anyway, it now says "Bono," which I think you'll agree is an improvement.


And, more random pics.

Stay tuned, kids. Pimpage is more than a one-day activity.

Yo, Bobby out.

Pimp my House

So, just got back from an interview at The Container Store, which is a cool place. I love putting stuff in boxes, and that is the truth. It turned out to be three interviews, and I thought they went well. They'll "be in touch."

Also, my parents are gone, so let the house pimpage begin. Matt's coming over, and we're turning my house into a new paradise, what with Star Wars stuff, fridges in my room, and a special surprise. I'll let you in on a little secret, now. One word. Rims. Look forward to more posts on this subject, featuring pretty pictures.

Words on a Page

As per my previous post, I find it extremely difficult to refrain from posting out of sheer boredom. I like writing, even if my words don't necessarily meet any eyes along the way. It's a way of talking wherein you can go on and on and on about any subject, and what you have to show for it is a series of neat, tidy marks on a screen. I like going for a ride on my train of thought, kind of a free association activity that's fun alone or with a friend. Observe:

Lantern
Jack-o'-Lantern
Cowboy Bebop Movie
Yoko Kanno
Tank
Abrams
Dentist
Retainer
Wall
Drug
Brian
Hippie
Woodstock
Snoopy
Lacrosse
Titanium Shaft
John Shaft
Samuel L.
Mace Windu
Christopher Walken
Dead Zone
The ice is gonna break
Breakin' the law
Judas Priest

See, I could go on for hours. You have no idea what I'm talking about, but it makes sense to me.

Furthermore, I'm sitting on my front porch, as is the custom of my people in order to better leech off a neighbor's wireless network. It's a bit hot outside, and I hear it's going to hit 90 for the next few days. My parents are going out of town for a month, so I have the place to myself.

Looking back at that paragraph, it doesn't seem to be all that coherent

I like batman, but I'm not a fan of the style of comic book illustration that makes the heroes inhumanly musclely. It just looks weird. I mean, don't people wonder "Hey, why does Bruce Wayne have more muscle tone than Dolph Lundgren?"

<= I do not like this style

Yeah, it's hot out here.

Mission Statement

So, yesterday I wrote three blog entries, This is not due to some medical condition bordering on obssesive-compulsive disorder, but something close.

I'm bored.

Summer is usually boring to a point; it's supposed to be. That's one thing that's so great about it. There comes a time, however, when it's good to do stuff. In my case, thanks to the good people at Six Flags Elitch Gardens, "stuff" means cashiering. I finished orientation yesterday, and now I have to take retail training god knows when. I just hope I start working sometime before September.

In other news, my laptop is awesome. I just finished getting all my old files and such onto it, and I'm currently re-organizing my music so I don't have to listen to "Unknown Artist - Unknown Album - Unknown Song.mp3" any more. Not that it isn't a great song, mind you. Nay, it is truly a fine recording, fit for kings and emperors.

In any case, look forward to me writing an insane number of entries until I start actually doing something, or become bored even with this. Whichever comes first.

Yo, Bobby out.

This is a picture.

Top 10 Convoy Songs

10. Ramones - Havana Affair
9. Canned Heat - Going up the Country
8. John Williams - Raiders Theme
7. Yoko Kanno and the Seatbelts - Tank!
6. Tokyo Ska Paradise Orchestra - Scaravan
5. Charlie Daniels Band - Devil Went Down to Georgia
4. Deep Purple - Highway Star
3. Queen - Bohemian Rhapsody
2. Blues Brothers - Peter Gunn Theme
1. John Williams - Star Wars Imperial March

Initial Public Offering

This is a blog written by Bob.
See Bob write a blog.
Write, Bob, write.
Bob wrote a blog.