Bob ARRGH PET PEEVES

Hey kids, it's time again for me to air my grievances on the internet! This is healthy, I assure you. Fortunately, my grievances are often small in nature, and I can typically ignore them without falling prey to acute hypertension.

Today! On the pet peeves show: ungrammatical facebook status entries. "Real" examples:

• Jane Doe OMG her flight got cancelled!
• Alan Smithee is it naptime yet?
• John Q. Public is SIGN THIS NOW!!!
• Dennis Kucinich RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE TOMORROW/starstruck from the DEMOCRATIC NATIONAL CONVENTION.

I'd like to say that these people lack basic understanding about how facebook status updates work, but I don't actually believe that. They are just lazy. They do not care. Is it so difficult to spend an extra second or two making sure your status makes goddamn sense?

Of course, none of this actually matters. My complaint has no redeeming value as social commentary or parody. But that's exactly what makes it a problem! These assholes have turned me into the guy sitting in his basement penning a manifesto and preaching revolution on the "social networking intersphere" or whatever the fuck they're calling it these days. I have become what I hate the most. Next thing you know I'll be "twittering" my progress in getting facebook to change their whole status setup.

On an unrelated note, I was looking up some foreign book titles at work on Google Translate, and apparently the "auto-detect language" feature recognizes Slovenian and Hungarian, but is unable to translate them. I like a computer program that knows its limits.

Mankind is Noodlekind

I must give "mad props" to my dad for this one. He randomly called to tell me today is the 50th anniversary to the sale of the first instant ramen. I hate to fall into college student stereotypes, but I really do eat a ton of that stuff, and hell if I don't enjoy it, too. I've even made some improvements to the process. Real Actual Things™ I have done:

• Once ate ramen out of large ziplock bag with tiny hole cut in one corner
• Once cooked ramen in original plastic packaging using only heat from desk lamp
• Once left ramen leftovers in pot outside dorm room door for 3 (three) weeks.
  

That last one probably wasn't my brightest moment, but you get the idea.

That post title up there is a quotation from Momofuku Ando, inventor of instant ramen. As a culinary innovator himself, I think he'd be proud of my tinkering.

Interblag

I changed some things. Perhaps you noticed. Sundays are so boring that I can afford to spend an hour and a half tweaking xml, and that makes me a little sad.

If you want actual content, here's a video of some tech they're working on at the University of Washington. It is hella cool.

I am the hipster KING

I was checking my textbook list for the next quarter, and came across the following:

FALL 2008 › CIV_ENG › 395-0 › 22
3 PACK SKETCHBOOK 3 1/2 X 5 1/2
By MOLESKIN[E]

That is correct, I am required to purchase moleskines.

At long last, I will be That Guy. I will sit in the corner of a Local Cafe and sip my Soy Chai Latte and maybe sketch The One That Got Away or write some Meaningful Poetry. My pants: tight. My bike: fixed-gear single-speed... with full-length fenders!

I will be Very Sensitive.

This is the beginning of a new era, my friends! An era where I will write things in tiny notebooks! The future is truly now.

How To Watch Preseason Football

Preseason gets a bad rap. Most seem to tolerate it, but the general consensus seems to be an emphatic "meh." After all, these games don't count for anything, right? Why should we care?

Because it's football, jackass.

Maybe you don't like actually watching football, and only enjoy the stats and the wins that accumulate for your chosen city/region? Is that it? Yeah, I'm pretty sure you don't like football, then. Why don't you go play with a spreadsheet or something?

On the other hand, maybe you don't like preseason because you're not watching it right. I'll bet I know the reason: you're not rooting for anyone. Even if you don't care about either of the teams, pick a side. It doesn't matter if you have to flip a coin, but do it, and stick to it. If you hate both teams, root for the defense to keep getting ridiculously big hits. Concussions are fun when you're not the one getting them!

Outside of that, here are some reasons given for preseason apathy:

The Play Isn't On Par With Regular Season Games
For the starters, maybe. But they're in there for a half, tops, then out come the guys playing for a chance to make the team. Don't try telling them that the game doesn't matter. They're going to play hard, and they're going to bring their A-game.

The Games Don't Actually Count
(see above)

One thing that really bothers me is when the network goes into full interview mode the entire second half of the game. This is when the desperate dudes are in there! The second half is more time when you could be seeing stuff like this!

Sometimes Important Starters Get Hurt
OK yeah that blows. I can't argue. But injuries are a part of the game. I'll give you this much: If you are a starting player on a professional football team, you are allowed to hate the preseason. If this is the case, you should also send me some free tickets.

...to a regular season game.

Playlist, 8/10/2008

Tobacco - Fucked Up Friends - Hairy Candy
Beck - Modern Guilt - Gamma Ray
Some Hobbits - LotR: Fellowship of the Ring - Hobbit Song
Blue Cheer - Vincebus Eruptum - Second Time Around
Blood Sweat, & Tears - Blood Sweat, & Tears 3 - Lucretia MacEvil
Battles - Mirrored - Ddiamondd
Black Rebel Motorcycle Club - Baby 81 - Lien On Your Dreams
Windmill - Puddle City Racing Lights - Fluorescent Lights
Bjork - Volta - Innocence
Broadcast - Tender Buttons - I Found the F
The Berg Sans Nipple - Along the Quai - Nonante-Trois
Burial - Untrue - Ghost Hardware

Bookkeeping

Hey, the word "bookkeeping" has three sets of double letters. Sweet.

The thesis I mentioned on Friday was A General Survey of the Negro Population of Evanston by David Kenneth Bruner. It's not quite as old as I thought (1924), but it still has that vaguely racist look and feel that we all know and "love." Here's a link to the Northwestern library catalog page. Ha, it says the book has been missing since 2003. Lies.

Playlist, 8/3/2008

Maps and Atlases - You and Me and The Mountain - Daily News
Krakatoa - We Are The Rowboats - Spiral Dive
The Casket Lottery - Survival is for Cowards - Code Red
Jimmy Edgar - Silicon Graffiti - 18th Sheet Reflections
Marc Ribot's Ceramic Dog - Party Intellectuals - Party Intellectuals
Akitaka Tohyama, Kenki Ninuma - Katamari Damacy OST - The Moon and The Prince
Nico Muhly - Mothertongue - Mothertongue Pt. 2: Shower
Walter Meego - Voyager - Lost
Zongamin - Zongamin - Serious Trouble
Free Kitten - Inherit - Surf's Up
The Ting Tings - Great DJ - Great DJ
Flying Lotus - Flying Lotus - Breathe Something/Stellar Star
Flying Lotus - Flying Lotus - Beginners Falafel
Flying Lotus - Flying Lotus - Camel
Flying Lotus - Flying Lotus - Melt!
Flying Lotus - Flying Lotus - Comet Course
Flying Lotus - Flying Lotus - Orbit 405

LOLnephew 2

Old Picture Madness

Allow me to introduce you to the Northwestern football team of 1892. I'm sure they would fare just fine against our current team. Just look at the expression of the guy front and center. That just screams "hardcore competitor."

John Henry Wigmore: legal scholar, dean of the Northwestern Law School from 1901-1929, and keeper of perhaps the finest mustache in history.

Bestseller

One of the books I was processing at work today was a thesis from the early part of the 1900s. I should have written more information down, but I can get it on Monday, I guess. In this thesis were a number of pictures of locations in Evanston, some of which happen to be quite close to where I live. Having nothing better to do, I decided to go see what these locations looked like now.

Unfortunately, what with me being dumb, I decided to go out during rush hour in 90 degree heat, so I didn't get great photos. Some of the places have changed so much it's impossible to tell where the picture was taken from, anyway.

Cash advance, plz.