Sool

The cover to Sool (2008) is one of the cooler ones I've seen in the past few years. It does, however, make me a little nervous. The curse of colorblindness, you see.

My little ocular deficiency can cause problems with my faith in humanity. Take the following t-shirt image, which I am told is not very nice:

Stuff like that has raised my sensitivity to all dot-based communication. I mean, how am I supposed to know if Georges-Pierre Seurat is secretly telling people I have a small penis?

Fuck you Seurat, I'm on to your tricks. From now on I'm only trusting things that I can put into photoshop and crank the saturation to maximum.

Movie Review: Chocolate

Chocolate (2008)

Directed by Prachya Pinkaew

Starring Yanin Vismitananda, other Thai people with amazingly long names

Trailer:

Chocolate is the latest movie by Ong Bak director Prachya Pinkaew. Zen (Vismitananda) is the autistic daughter of Japanese yakuza father Masashi (Hiroshi Abe!) and Thai mafia mother Zin (Ammara Siripong). In order to pay for her dying mother's medical treatment, Zen and childhood friend Moom (Taphon Phopwandee) attempt to collect debts hidden in Zin's belongings. Unbeknownst to them, these debts are actually owed to Thai mob boss No. 8 (Pongpat Wachirabunjong), a former lover of Zin's who was long ago embittered by her betrayal. Helping matters somewhat is Zen's savant mastery of muay thai boxing, learned from martial arts movies and obsessive practice. Enemies cross paths, hijinx occur, ass-kickery ensues.

The back story of Zen's life is delivered competently. All the actors do a good job, especially Zin, whose relationship with Zen is actually quite touching. The general plot is a little stale, but you have to give credit for at least trying to make it distinctive. Besides, this is first and foremost a martial arts movie, so it's not too disheartening to be a little lax on the story. Zen is a strong main character, displaying an excellent balance of vulnerability and ferocity, as well as amazing martial arts skills (incredibly, no stunt doubles were used in this film).

Pinkaew is a very good martial arts director. Fight scenes are shot without the cut-every-half-second mentality you see so often in Western movies, and you never lose track of who's doing what. The fight choreography is also top-notch, muay thai boxing being one of the more impressive martial arts to watch these days. The scenes each have a distinct look and feel to them, so they don't run together and you don't get bored halfway through. Considering a good 1/3 of the movie is fight scenes, it's very appreciated. From a continuity standpoint, I wonder if I may have gotten an edited version of the movie. Occasionally people will change body positions significantly between cuts. It's not a huge problem, but it can be a distraction if you're OCD about that type of thing.

Plus: Excellent fight choreography, good acting, plenty of moments that you will have to rewind just to make sure you saw what you thought you saw, umm, it features a gang of Thai transsexuals?

Minus: Despite the autism "hook," you've seen this plot 500 times before, not the best soundtrack (depending on whether you like thai pop music), minor continuity errors.

Overall grade: A-

Goddamnit Chicago

I feel like this needed mentioning. 

Top 10 Movies of 2008*

*that I saw.

In no particular order:

Tropic Thunder

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

Transporter 3

Iron Man

Wall-e

Quantum of Solace

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

The Dark Knight

Forgetting Sarah Marshall

Role Models

You may notice there are some mid-line movies in there, at best. This is due to the fact that I saw only 15 movies in 2008. These brilliant gems of cinematic legend didn't make the list:

Semi-Pro

Wanted

Hancock

Hellboy 2

The Incredible Hulk

Yes, I spent money to see Semi-Pro.

twenty aught eight

It's 2009 now, so maybe I should do a year in review? Sure why not. And since I don't like writing long posts, here's part one of [undetermined].

Bob's Top 10 Songs of 2008

(in no particular order)

Cloud Cult - Feel Good Ghosts - No One Said It Would Be Easy

The Cool Kids - The Bake Sale - Mikey Rocks

Girl Talk - Feed The Animals - Give Me A Beat

TV On The Radio - Dear Science - Halfway Home

Son Lux - At War With Walls and Mazes - Wither

School of Language - Sea From Shore - Disappointment '99

Hot Chip - Made In The Dark - We’re Looking For A Lot Of Love

Beck - Modern Guilt - Gamma Ray

Needers and Givers - The Other - Digging

2D Boy Studios - World of Goo Soundtrack - The Red Carpet

Shitty MS Paint Fun

I did a clean install of XP the other day and I haven't gotten around to re-installing Photoshop yet. Ergo, this:

It's just a little something to get my brain off the Broncos.

Comicon

Hey, I went to the first annual Windy City Comicon yesterday. I acquired a batman shirt and the hand-drawn art you see above. Nice.

Spider Arts

Hey, it's... spider arts.

LOLNephew: NCAA Edition

YES.

"Better"

Block quote time! This one is from the BBC News Online:

According to the Washington Post newspaper, Track was named after the course of the sockeye salmon the family fishes off the town of Dillingham, while her eldest daughter's name comes from Bristol Bay, an area known for its salmon fisheries. The name Willow relates to the state bird, the willow ptarmigan, and a nearby town, the paper says, while daughter Piper shares her name with the family's small plane. Trig is the Norse word for "brave victory", the Post adds.

So it seems I was a little wrong about the origin of the Palin family names. They're not random and "cute," like I thought; they're stupid, like I feared and, in hindsight, should have expected. Does this change my feelings from my post a few days ago? Hell no.

Gastronomical

Over the past three days, I have eaten (in rough order):

• 1/2 of a deep-dish pizza (cheese)
  
• 1 beer (20 oz)
  
• 1 bowl of cereal
  
• 2 beers (16 oz)
  
• 5 rolls of sushi (30 pieces) (!!)
  
• 2 beers (12 oz)
  
• 2 egg rolls
  
• 1 order of pad thai noodles
  
• 1 order of mint ice cream (size: waaay too big)
  
• 1 beer (12 oz)
  
• 1 large slice of pizza (cheese)

Quite frankly, I'm surprised I even have a digestive system anymore. Time to go to the gym.

Track? Seriously?

Barack Obama's camp has declared young Bristol Palin's pregnancy "off limits" for the purposes of the campaign. Ok. Privacy is nice, and while you could certainly make the argument that the teenage pregnancy of a vice presidential candidate's daughter says something about said candidate's parenting skills, Obama wants this campaign to be squeaky clean, so I can go with it. I think, however, they are missing the bigger problem.

Who names their daughter "Bristol"?

I mean sure, it's an city, whatever. But I did some checking: Sarah Palin's children are named Bristol, Willow, Piper, Track, and Trig.

I guess as a huge nerd, I can accept Willow, and Piper is an uncommon but not unheard of name. But Track? Her son is actually named Track? And Trig? Of the first 10 Google search results for "trig," seven return trigonometry sites. Two are unrelated convenience stores and networking sites. The one remaining result is Trig Palin. I'm going to go ahead and say it's a fairly rare name. Rarity is not really a bad thing (How common is the name "Obama" in the U.S.?), but think back to elementary school and every "creatively"-named kid you knew. If you went to a predominantly well-off white school like me, chances are these kids were assholes, and their parents were assholes. Not 100%, but pretty close. It's science. That, combined with pretty much everything else I've read about Sarah Palin, does not suggest someone I want as a VP.

Because, uh, I was totally gonna vote for Walnuts anyway. Totally.

Open Letter

Dear Hipster I Saw At The Arch Today,

Just because yesterday was 94º and today was 72º doesn't mean it's "scarf weather." It means it's 72 degrees. You look ridiculous.

Thanks,
Bob

Bob ARRGH PET PEEVES

Hey kids, it's time again for me to air my grievances on the internet! This is healthy, I assure you. Fortunately, my grievances are often small in nature, and I can typically ignore them without falling prey to acute hypertension.

Today! On the pet peeves show: ungrammatical facebook status entries. "Real" examples:

• Jane Doe OMG her flight got cancelled!
• Alan Smithee is it naptime yet?
• John Q. Public is SIGN THIS NOW!!!
• Dennis Kucinich RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE TOMORROW/starstruck from the DEMOCRATIC NATIONAL CONVENTION.

I'd like to say that these people lack basic understanding about how facebook status updates work, but I don't actually believe that. They are just lazy. They do not care. Is it so difficult to spend an extra second or two making sure your status makes goddamn sense?

Of course, none of this actually matters. My complaint has no redeeming value as social commentary or parody. But that's exactly what makes it a problem! These assholes have turned me into the guy sitting in his basement penning a manifesto and preaching revolution on the "social networking intersphere" or whatever the fuck they're calling it these days. I have become what I hate the most. Next thing you know I'll be "twittering" my progress in getting facebook to change their whole status setup.

On an unrelated note, I was looking up some foreign book titles at work on Google Translate, and apparently the "auto-detect language" feature recognizes Slovenian and Hungarian, but is unable to translate them. I like a computer program that knows its limits.

Mankind is Noodlekind

I must give "mad props" to my dad for this one. He randomly called to tell me today is the 50th anniversary to the sale of the first instant ramen. I hate to fall into college student stereotypes, but I really do eat a ton of that stuff, and hell if I don't enjoy it, too. I've even made some improvements to the process. Real Actual Things™ I have done:

• Once ate ramen out of large ziplock bag with tiny hole cut in one corner
• Once cooked ramen in original plastic packaging using only heat from desk lamp
• Once left ramen leftovers in pot outside dorm room door for 3 (three) weeks.
  

That last one probably wasn't my brightest moment, but you get the idea.

That post title up there is a quotation from Momofuku Ando, inventor of instant ramen. As a culinary innovator himself, I think he'd be proud of my tinkering.

Interblag

I changed some things. Perhaps you noticed. Sundays are so boring that I can afford to spend an hour and a half tweaking xml, and that makes me a little sad.

If you want actual content, here's a video of some tech they're working on at the University of Washington. It is hella cool.

I am the hipster KING

I was checking my textbook list for the next quarter, and came across the following:

FALL 2008 › CIV_ENG › 395-0 › 22
3 PACK SKETCHBOOK 3 1/2 X 5 1/2
By MOLESKIN[E]

That is correct, I am required to purchase moleskines.

At long last, I will be That Guy. I will sit in the corner of a Local Cafe and sip my Soy Chai Latte and maybe sketch The One That Got Away or write some Meaningful Poetry. My pants: tight. My bike: fixed-gear single-speed... with full-length fenders!

I will be Very Sensitive.

This is the beginning of a new era, my friends! An era where I will write things in tiny notebooks! The future is truly now.

How To Watch Preseason Football

Preseason gets a bad rap. Most seem to tolerate it, but the general consensus seems to be an emphatic "meh." After all, these games don't count for anything, right? Why should we care?

Because it's football, jackass.

Maybe you don't like actually watching football, and only enjoy the stats and the wins that accumulate for your chosen city/region? Is that it? Yeah, I'm pretty sure you don't like football, then. Why don't you go play with a spreadsheet or something?

On the other hand, maybe you don't like preseason because you're not watching it right. I'll bet I know the reason: you're not rooting for anyone. Even if you don't care about either of the teams, pick a side. It doesn't matter if you have to flip a coin, but do it, and stick to it. If you hate both teams, root for the defense to keep getting ridiculously big hits. Concussions are fun when you're not the one getting them!

Outside of that, here are some reasons given for preseason apathy:

The Play Isn't On Par With Regular Season Games
For the starters, maybe. But they're in there for a half, tops, then out come the guys playing for a chance to make the team. Don't try telling them that the game doesn't matter. They're going to play hard, and they're going to bring their A-game.

The Games Don't Actually Count
(see above)

One thing that really bothers me is when the network goes into full interview mode the entire second half of the game. This is when the desperate dudes are in there! The second half is more time when you could be seeing stuff like this!

Sometimes Important Starters Get Hurt
OK yeah that blows. I can't argue. But injuries are a part of the game. I'll give you this much: If you are a starting player on a professional football team, you are allowed to hate the preseason. If this is the case, you should also send me some free tickets.

...to a regular season game.

Playlist, 8/10/2008

Tobacco - Fucked Up Friends - Hairy Candy
Beck - Modern Guilt - Gamma Ray
Some Hobbits - LotR: Fellowship of the Ring - Hobbit Song
Blue Cheer - Vincebus Eruptum - Second Time Around
Blood Sweat, & Tears - Blood Sweat, & Tears 3 - Lucretia MacEvil
Battles - Mirrored - Ddiamondd
Black Rebel Motorcycle Club - Baby 81 - Lien On Your Dreams
Windmill - Puddle City Racing Lights - Fluorescent Lights
Bjork - Volta - Innocence
Broadcast - Tender Buttons - I Found the F
The Berg Sans Nipple - Along the Quai - Nonante-Trois
Burial - Untrue - Ghost Hardware

Bookkeeping

Hey, the word "bookkeeping" has three sets of double letters. Sweet.

The thesis I mentioned on Friday was A General Survey of the Negro Population of Evanston by David Kenneth Bruner. It's not quite as old as I thought (1924), but it still has that vaguely racist look and feel that we all know and "love." Here's a link to the Northwestern library catalog page. Ha, it says the book has been missing since 2003. Lies.