GOOOOOOOOOOL!

Google Analytics is awesome. It can tell you tons of information about your readership/spam bot attractiveness. For example, I seem to be getting a number of hits from the spanish language Google Images search page. In Spain. I honestly can't figure out why, but I'd like to give these people something to make their trip here worth it:


In other news, I've started a separate blog to post all my comics, located here. I'll still be posting on this page, but it will be less "hilarity" and more "what I ate for lunch." Sorry.

Coming soon will be my series on webcomic trends, which I am choosing to call... "Webcomic Trends: The Series."

And they say creativity is dead.

Based on a True Story™

Hourly Comics Day!

Ok, really near future

Comic + Rum

Ah, don't you love going almost 2 months between posts? I know I do!

Here's a comic I did. The script is several months old, but I just now say down at the tablet and cranked it out. Zhefei's hair is really freaking hard to capture; I still don't quite do it justice. He is truly Asian Elvis. I have a few alternate endings for this one. I'll see about posting those in the near future.

I Like Ike

Here's a gem from what I can only assume is literature promoting Dwight D. Eisenhower's bid for the presidency:


I'll check into it later.

I am amazing at guessing

Thank you.

More Things I Have Baked/Cooked/Watched

Pumpkin Gingerbread: B. Not bad, but a bit too heavy for my tastes. Maybe with more leavening?

French Onion Soup: A-. An excellent soup, but it could use some more hearty flavoring, maybe by addition of some meat, rather than beef and chicken broths. Also, I had it with large quantities of cheap wine - always an excellent serving suggestion.

Carrot Cake: A. Oh man, this thing is good. Plus, it's fuckin' huge. As my friend put it, "Oh my God, Bob, that's an actual cake!"

And now, a 3-haiku review of Seraphim Falls:

Both Pierce Brosnan and
Liam Neeson have accents
of a western sort.

Holy shit, you will
not believe what Pierce busts out
of in this movie.

I would recommend
this film to those who enjoy
films about tough dudes.

That should about cover it.

A List of Things I Have Baked

No-Knead Bread: B+, more if it came out of the pan in one piece.
Chocolate Chip Cookies: A-
Apple Crisp: B-, also the recipe came from a creepy homeschooler's blog
Applesauce Spice Cake: A (this cake is amazing)

Up Next:
Pumpkin Gingerbread

Notable Missing From This List:
Myself

wtf

I just noticed. Is this some kind of poo blog, now? Because I might be able to make some money with that.

This Must End

Would you like to know how bored I am?

This is how bored I am:

I just pooed. Not because I had to poo, mind you, but because it was an activity that took up a small amount of my time.

That is how bored I am.


AAARRRGGGHHHH.

Don't Do Boredom, Kids

Horrible things happen. Case in point:

This is Pooizard, the second evolution of Poomander, after Poomeleon. If your next question is: "Say, Bob, did you stumble upon drawings of Pokemon having sex with each other while searching for source material for this image?", DO NOT ASK THAT QUESTION.

The Countdown: Continued

Twilight Princess finished in just under 46 hours. I am now playing further into it to beat the Cave of Ordeals and find all the golden bugs. Poes too, maybe. Why am I doing this? Because apparently, I hate the sun.

Madden 08 in 5 days. Oh yeah.

Sabbatical Over

Ok kids, a few things:

Jesus. H. Christ.

Oh, hey, I got a Wii! This is why I have seen almost zero movies since my last update. (Note the "almost.") Check mark next to Resident Evil 4 in 21 hours, 47 minutes. Over 30 hours into Twilight Princess and still going strong.

Knocked Up
A filthy movie that's quite amusing, but for a bit too long.

Holy Update, Batman!

Kung Fu Hustle
It has some bizarre moments for a (good) kung fu movie, but I'm still not sure I'd call it a comedy.

Fearless
At first I was a bit disappointed by the whole "man discovers himself through discipline and honor" storyline, but then I remembered something: I was watching a fucking martial arts movie.

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
Certainly a passable film, and I'd probably like it more by comparison if I had seen the first two.

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
For a movie that lost both Alfonso Cuarón and John Williams, it does remarkably well.

Live Free or Die Hard
A movie I was entertained by for 2 hours in exchange for some of my money.

A Special Note to the Guy Working at the Electronics Counter at Target Yesterday.

FUCK YOU, ASSHOLE.

One Sentence Movie Reviews: Trilingual Edition

Last Life in the Universe
This movie is a potent catalyst for sitting on your couch, looking at colors, and thinking about life.

It's probably just the mood I was in today, but I really liked this movie. The pacing reminds me a little of another film I didn't care for, Lost in Translation. But where LiT was frustrating with its lack of action, I let LLitU wash over me. The slightly surreal plot combined with the impressive soundtrack and the intensely saturated cinematography makes for a viewing experience which feels like you're underwater, and it was exactly what I was looking for in a movie today.

It was shot on video, which I found a little distracting, but not overly so. Looking at IMDB, it seems LiT is actually 10 minutes shorter than the still brief 112 minutes of LLitU, but I remember it feeling like forever.

I have another of this director's films, 6ixtynin9, which I'll have to watch soon.

One Sentence Movie Reviews, Dystopian Future Edition

Children of Men
One of the most powerful explorations of mankind's propensity for extremes that I've seen.

Alternate one sentence review:

Half-Life 2 meets Saving Private Ryan meets 28 Days Later.

One Sentence Movie Reviews: Go Fuck Yourself Edition

The Departed
While it is an excellent film in its own right, I feel it loses much of its moral ambiguity as compared to Infernal Affairs.

Many of the detail changes between the two films seem designed to make the good guys better and the bad guys worse, almost as if the movie has been dumbed down for American audiences. Other alterations contribute to the movie, but seem highly unlikely (Costigan's affair with Sullivan's girlfriend comes to mind). To be fair, both versions have their share of implausibilities, so I'm not sure I can take points away for that. The final product is a movie that is much grittier and feels more real, but which is lacking some of the stylistic flair and philosophical questioning of the original.

Jack Nicholson is insane.


I'm bored, so I made these. I can't decide which I like more. Your thoughts?



The original.

One Sentence Movie Reviews: Samurai Western Edition

The Magnificent Seven
Questionable acting by the secondary cast fails to ruin an otherwise excellent movie.

Man, Yul Brynner is awesome. Steve McQueen is awesome. Charles Bronson is awesome. James Coburn is awesome. Everyone in this movie is awesome - as long as they have top billing. Otherwise, it's a mixed bag.

There's one thing I noticed during Casablanca and again during this movie. People getting shot looks hilariously unrealistic. I'm not sure if it's the lack of blood caps or the acting, but something about it seems really off.

Well, now I have to watch The Departed and The Seven Samurai and A Fistful of Dollars and Yojimbo. Better get to it.